Show me what it's like

Hey Kids!! I'm just sitting here at Laiken's Grandma's house. I miss her so much and I am so glad that we're friends. I'm gonna miss her when we leave. So everything is going well, no complaonts. I miss Shane. But i love spending time up here!! I LOVE YOU LAIKEN!!! See ya Sunday Shane.

Hey you guys!! How's your Friday night going? Good I hope. Well, I was planning to go out with Shane..but..I have to watch kids. I sucks, I hate it. It makes me mad because I had plans and then I have to watch the kids. I sware...Shane deserves a chick that is a whole lot better than me. And espescially a girl whose parents aren't rule crazy!! But anyways, I get to see him tomorrow at 10:00 in the morning until my curfew..so that's good. I'm really looking forward to it. I love him so much. Febuary 8 will be 5 months. OHHH!!!!! Guess what!! I get to go to Grissom's military ball on the arsenal!! We're going to be at the officer's club!! It's next Saturday and I am really looking forward to it. I have to go find my shoes and my other stuff either tomorrow or Sunday. The ball is at 8:00...can't wait. My life is going pretty good right now. I owe a lot of that to God, He has answered my prayers. Shane has been coming to church with us and he's going to bring his mom this Sunday, I'm excited about that. Just please say a prayer for me in hope that I get my prayers answered. And I know that He does. Lets se..what else is going on? Nothing to much....BRADLEY I MISS YOU!!! Well, gonna go! I love you kids!! *Love ya Elle, Jen, Bradley, and Ben!!*

*I AM SO 'EFFIN EXCITED!!!*

My valentines present from Shane is...TICKETS TO THE NICKELBACK CONCERT MARCH.18!!!*

Hey Kiddos!! How's yir guy's day going? Mine is going well. Nothing much has happened lately. Did everyone have a good Christmas? I hope so. Mine was AWESOME!! My boyfriend,Shane, got me a ring!! It's gorgeous!! I like it a lot. I love him so much and I don't know what I would do w/o him. I love you Baby!! Anyways. I got a bunch of clothes for Christmas. We woke up at 5:10 in the morning to open Christmas presents!! It was crazy. I have to do a research project for Mrs. Compton's class...*Grr* It's gay. I hate it. The good thing is that I am no longer in French..I am now an office aid. In other news..we have everything picked out for the military ball!! It's gonna be AWESOME!! The glasses, theme, and stuff is all picked out!! Military Ball is Febuary 25, 2006. And then prom is April 29. We have 3 months and 28 more days until then!! I found a dress for the Miitary Ball. It's pink and laces up the back and it's strapless. It has little flowers on the train..I love it. Only $75. So I htink that I'm gonna get it. Well, that's about it. Write later.. Josh remember what Mrs. Compton said: A man is only as happy as he makes himself...

Hey you guys!! Well, I just loked at my old school's website. A lot of memories. *sigh* I miss them. But anyways. My mom is out of the hospital now. Everyhting is fine. I hope that I did good on Mrs. Compton's exam. I'm wearing the necklace Ben got me for Christmas. Thanks Ben! Nothing much interestring has been happening. I htink I'm gonna hang out with some friends tonight. Only an hour and 53 more minutes until we get out. Rachel's BF comes back tonight from Boston. He treats her right. And she loves him a lot. So I had to call into work Friday because my mom was put in the hospital. they got really mad. I don't understand why. I probably look rough today. I came to school in my PJ's. But hey..I'm not trying to impress anybody. My dad has been trying to call. i think I'm gonna try and call him back. I hope he just didn't call to gripe. Well, gonna go!! Love ya!! I LOVE YOU JENNI AND BRADLEY!! LOVE YA BEN!! THANKS FOR MY PRESENT!!!!!!!

So, school got out today at 12:00..score!! I have 9so far) passed all of my exams. French: you got a 100 if you tried, Anatomy:84, and ROTC:92. Shoot yeah!! Mom's in the hospital. She has a staff infection under her arm. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 2:00. I'm a big girl..so now I get to go by myself. Josh and Rachel got me 'effin AWESOME CHRISTMAS presents!! I love them!! I have to clean up the house. I just want to say that I am sorry to a certain person (u know who u are) My family is crazy and my dad can be a jerk. But, that's about it besides Josh Mr. I'm not gonna come..haha..j/k. LOVE YA KIDS!!! Jenni I love you!! Bradley: COME BACK OR I WILL KICK U IN UR HEAD!!!

Hey you guys!!! How's your day going so far? Aweosme I hope. Mine is going a little bit better. I am soo tired of all of this hs b/s. Kinda dumb. Oh well..does anybody know French? 'Cause I need some serious help with it. Hmm...what else happened. I forgot to do my library work from when I was absent and I still haven't turned it in because I don't understand it. But Mrs. Compton was like " I have a feeling that you didn't do it". But i don't know how!! Oh well..I'm gonna try. Anyways. Jenni's National Guard thing is Sunday..I'm gonna go to that. I love you Jenni!! And Mr. Skipper Bradley!! I gotta work tonight..grr..well, I'm gonna go. Love ya kids!! Have a good day Landon, Jenni, Brad, and Rach!! I love you kids!!

Take the quiz...

Hmm..today was a good day. Nothing to interesting happened. This weekend was good though. My Grandma and Grandpa were down here. They left this morning I miss them. *Sigh* Among other people as well.... David always used to say that "me and a rain storm" was all he wanted. So today has been hard. My bro got the new Nickelback CD and I've been listening to it. Has a lot of awesome songs on there. I'll get the lyrics for one. Landon: When do you wanna hang out kid? This weekend? But anyways. Today has sucked I guess. I got a Who shirt this weekend a jean jacked that has a California patch on it..like it lots. Me, my mom, and my Grandma all got uo the day after Thanksgiving and went X-mas shopping. I am gonna order all of my kid's Christmas stuff off of the internet. It was CRAZY!! But I got all of my Christmas stuff. I got this sweatshirt that says "Hugs Not Drugs". So funny..well, here' the lyrics. Love ya!!

 Far Away: Nickelback This time, this place Misused, mistakes Too long, too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know you know, you know That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreamiong you'll be with me And you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything, but I won't give up 'Cause you know Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me And you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you And I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far to long So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving Hold on to me and Never let me go

Answer this and send it back to me. Post it on your bulletin with out the answers. You might be surprised with the results.

Y = Yes
N = No
M = Maybe


Would you? Will you?

[_] give me your number? (_ _ _) _ _ _- _ _ _ _
[_] give me your screenname? ______________
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] go to dinner with me?
[_] let me drive you somewhere?
[_] take a shower with me?
[_] buy me a drink?
[_] take me home for the night?
[_] let me sleep in your bed?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

DO YOU...
[_] think im hott?
[_] think im cute?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_] want to hook up with me?


AM I...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] loveable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?


HAVE YOU EVER...
[_] thought about hooking up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished I were there?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?
[_] gotten shit faced with me?

ARE YOU...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] thinking about me?
[_] going to repost this?

Hey you guys! Happy Thanksgiving!! Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile. Things have slowed down today. Thank you so much to those who were there for me through David's death. Thanx Ben, Landon, Jenni, Josh, and Rach. I dunno what I would do w/o you. I truly know who my friends are now. On to happy stuff...things have been kind of slow around my house. My grandparents are coming down from Indiana today!! I am soooo excited. The weather outside is perfect. I'm gonna get married in November because the weather is absolutely gorgeous. I hope that things are goig well for all of you. I love you Jenni and Brad! So, what have you guys been uo to? I hope things are good for all of you guys. Happy Thanksgiving!! If one of you guys ever need anything..don't hesitate to call. 796-1959.

I had to see one of my friends for the last time last night..in a casket. It hurts so much. It feels like my heart is broken into a thousand little pieces. Does the pain ever go away? I never wan to feel like this again. I went to his visitation last night, I didn't know what to do. I saw him lying down..and it looked like he was asleep. I kept hoping that he would wake up. But he didn't and he never will. Ever...I have to go and see him be buried today. It's not fair..why did God have to do this? He was susposed to be around...to go to prom, be there for my graduation, and someday be an Uncle to my kids. None of that will never happen. I love him so much..and I don't know what I'm gonna do now that he's gone. My world is upside down. People say that it will get better and to hang on to the memories. But those things aren't good enoguh. I want David back. I wna thim to call me "baby" and his "special Emily". I'll never get to see him again..ever. Except in some memory. I sware...I am such a screw-up. I let everyone down in my life. Don't say that I don't because I do. I did..and now he's dead. If there was something I could have said or done..I would have. He was just lying there, ya know? I made sure it was him..it was. He had that tattoo on his neck that he was so proud of. The clover leaf. It was him. I just stood there. What do you say during something like that? HOW DO YOU SAY GOODBYE? I don't know..but someone please enlightenme. And I'm sorry if I've EVER been a witch to you..I din't mean it. I screw up everyone's life..I really do. Thank you to all of you who have been there. Thanks for the comments. Landon: Thank you...I'll cry on your shoulder...Ben: I hope there is some good left, and I knwo that there is, because of you....Jenni and Brad: Thanks for being there for me...Rachel: You mena the world to me and I'm sorry for the past few days, and I am so sorry that I wrote that. It wasn't true. I love you sweetie. I don't know what I would do w/o my friends. But it's true...the world doesn't know what they lost..and I am so blessed to have known him while he was here. Last night his mom said " I guess God needed another angel". And I know that it's true. But...I need David to come back. I lov you David. Always have and I always will. Save some rooom for me in Heaven..I'll see you there.




"Photograph"

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if It's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it

So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me"Someday"

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

I don't hate you. Sorry, I didn't mena it. The world and everybody in it sucks. I am so tired of childish bullcrap. That's all life seems to be. Everybody fighting, nobody can get along, and everyday somebody new wants to kill themselves. IT'S DUMB!!! One of the bewst people in the whol world has died and he menat the world to me. Whenever I was having a bad day or hated the world, he was always there for me. I'm never going to forget him. The world doesn't know what it lost. It lost a great artist and an amazing human being. I will treasure the notes and the memories. David dieing has really opened my eyes to the human race..and the fact that we all suck. Live for the moment and froget everybody else. David doesn't know how much he has just fucked up the lives of those that he loved. Sam will never be the same. And neithr will I. I knew that he could die. But I din't think that he was goign to. Hve you ever felt that way? He did, and now I don't know what to do. What can I do? Well, now I know. FUCK everyone. If you have a problem, go bitch to someone else. If you don't like someone, tough shit, GET OVER IT. If you're gonna kill yourself, go do it. Don't procrastinate. Live in the minute, but never forget about the future.

David died yesterday morning. I fuckin' hate you.

So, I'm goign to the Space and Rocket Center and I will be there until Saturday. Yeah..kinda. I'm kinda excited and kinda not. But Rach is going with me, so I know that it will be ok. Wish Bradley wouldn't have to eat lunch by himself. But he's a big boy now and has to fend for himself. Haha..j/k. I'm gonna miss ypu guys. But NOT 7th Period. Anywayz. David isn't doing well. Enough said. Started crying in 3rd..I don't know what to do or say. Pray for him please. I'm gonna miss you Jenni, Brad, and Josh!! I love you guys!!

Hey you guys!! How's your day going so far? Awesome I hope. Today is a gorgeous day outside. It really is. Today will be a good day..anyways. I came home from church and now I'm ready to go to work. Nothing very interesting has happened. last night was scary though. I have a friend named David nad he's really bad into drugs, so I got a phone call from his mom last night saying that he had OD on coke, I just broke down and started crying. So I went to Huntsville Hospital and I saw him. I will never forget what he looked like. He looked like a bag of bones. He was skinnier than me and Rachel combined. HE injected a GHRAM of that crap. I mean..the sight was horrible. Never will I forget it. So, just please pray for him please. I hope that everyone is doing well. No guy news, me and Shane are still broken up. I could care less. Just please pray for David and for Sam. Jeremiah: you'll do awesome at basic, don't forget to write me! But other than that, my day has been really good. How about you guys. Landon: Things will get better. Rach: I LOVE YOU SWEETIE!! Jenni and Bradley: Did you guys have another good weekend? ;) I love you guys!! Ben: Love ya son!! Love ya Ashley!!

Hey you guys! Well, I'm just sitting here in 6th. Yeah..I got on to the teacher's internet. Anyways. So..Shane is gonna come to homecoming with me tonight! I can't wait. I haven't seen him in awhile. And I'm really happy that he's coming tonight. I have to do the colorguar for the game. Yep, it's me, Ben, Rach, Kristie, and Angela. I am so happy that I ge to!! Thanx Ben!! I love you! Ashley, I love you too! Wow..my week has gone really well. I think I might be getting a job at Foodland in Eva. I have to put in an application. I hope I do. It's a lot colser than McDonalds and I'll get better hours. Let's see..what else? Oh..I went to go get my car out of the shop and I backed into the guy that fixes the cars..I backed into his bumper. There's $240 right there. I didn't call into work yesterday..so I dunno if I have a job. But the wierd thing is...I don't care. I really don't. I am happy right now. Rach=my hero. She found this really awesome guy named Greg. They'll be togther. You'll find somebody Landon..don't worry. You sound really awesome. Homecoming is tonight though. Dee is going with John. I love both of them lots. I love you Rach!! You're my hero!! Sisters 4-ever. I dunno where I would be without you! I love you! Well, I have to go kids! Love ya Jenni and Bradley! Love ya Caleb!!

"It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love"

why can you read me like no one else?
I hide behind these words
but I'm coming out
I wish I kept them behind my tongue
I hide behind these words
but I'm coming out

put your hand between
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them hate us
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them so jealous

all the ways you make my stomach turn
and all the long drives
with my friends blur
and I wish I kept them inside my mind
I hide behind these words

and think of all the places
where you've been lost
and then found...out
in between my sheets
in between the rights and the wrongs

put your hand between
an aching head and an aching world
we'll make them so jealous
we'll make them hate us
aching head and an aching world
think of all the places
where you've been lost and found...out

"Chicago Is So Two Years Ago"

my heart is on my sleeve
wear it like a bruise or blackeye
my badge, my witness
that means that i believed
every single lie you said

cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you
and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you

but there's a light on in chicago
and i know i should be home
all the colors of the street signs..
they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

she took me down and said:
"boys like you are overrated. so save your breath."
loaded words and loaded friends
are loaded guns to our heads

cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you
and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you

but there's a light on in chicago
and i know i should be home
all the colors of the street signs..
they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

you want apologies
girl, you might hold your breath
until your breathing stops forever, forever
the only thing you'll get
is this curse on your lips:
i hope they taste of me forever

and there's a light on in chicago
and i know i should be home
all the colors of the street signs..
they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's

with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again
with every breath i wish your body would be broken again, again
with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again
with every breath i wish your body would be broken again

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

"Dead On Arrival"

i hope this is the last time
'cause i'd never say no to you
this conversation's been dead on arrival
and there's no way to talk to you
this conversation's been dead on

a rivalry goes so deep between me
and this loss of sleep over you

this is side one
flip me over
i know i'm not your favorite record
the songs you grow to like never stick at first
so i'm writing you a chorus
and here is your verse

no, it's not the last time
'cause i'd never say no to you
this conversation's still dead on arrival
and there's no way to talk to you
when you're dead on

a rivalry goes so deep between me
and this loss of sleep over you

this is side one
flip me over
i know i'm not your favorite record
the songs you grow to like never stick at first
so i'm writing you a chorus
and here is your...

whoo!
this is side one
flip me over
i know i'm not your favorite record
so-o-o-o

this is side one
flip me over
this is side one
flip me over
i know i'm not your favorite record
the songs you grow to like never stick at first
so i'm writing you a chorus
and here is your verse
here is your...